False Advertising

Oh!! I must say I really get upset when I see that TV advertisement for some drug that is being promoted (I can't remember the name) for treating depression. It's not that I'm opposed to ads for anti-depressants. I would not have made it if I hadn't taken one way back at the beginning of my journey (see my whole story by going to the first post and onward). But this particular one is the one where the sad, gloomy cartoon lady is walking around with this black blob hanging over her. That's her depression. She is saying how her regular anti-depressant didn't help, so then she added this other one and now she feels "better." Even at the end of the commercial when the black blob has decreased in size, it is still there with her, lurking in her life. But she's just glad she's "better" and says that now she can handle her depression. Through the whole commercial she calls it "my depression" like it is an arm or a leg or some other part of her body that she can't shake. Oh!! I am so frustrated because that gives the message to viewers with depression that they can only hope to be "better" and that "their depression" has to be a part of their lives forever and that the best they can hope for is for it to shrink in intensity. Wrong!!! If you haven't checked out my journey from start to finish, please do. More important, check out drnedley.com to see how you can go through his recovery program at home. Or maybe there is a recovery program going on in your area. Email them at their web site and find out. Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to live with the black blob forever.

Happy New Year!

Well, it's 2011, and I'm still recovered! Praise Jesus! And speaking of that, I have renewed my covenant with God to use my brain efficiently for Him and for others.

It's been a couple of months since my last post, so I'll catch up a bit. We just finished our first series of meetings doing the Dr. Nedley Depression Recovery DVDs. Our group was small, but it was successful and it thrilled my heart to listen to the testimonials of participants as they said how they are better. I am planning to begin the program again in late February and I'm praying for anyone and everyone who may consider coming.

On a more personal note, I had a very warm and satisfying experience over the holiday when my daughter (26) told me that she is so proud of me for "killing the beast" of depression in my own life and then going on to help others. That made me feel very good. :-) Affirmation from one's own children is always a sweet moment.

Well, I am not sure why you are reading this, but if you are suffering with depression yourself, please feel free to email simmonsmg@wildblue.net if you have questions or concerns or comments. You may feel free to make posts here, too, although an email will get my attention sooner. :-)

Hold on! And if you haven't checked out Dr. Nedley's DVD program yet, it might just be the best New Year Resolution you ever make! www.drnedley.com

Passing It On

I'm finished! I've completed the course for becoming a director in the Nedley Depression Recovery program. Now I am planning to hold the first sessions here in my community. It will probably be some time in September as I want to wait until people are past the rush of summer events. Also, I'd like it to precede the holiday season since that can be a difficult time for many people.

Anyway, hurray! I want to report that I am still recovered and thriving. Life is not perfect, but functioning with a healthy brain certainly helps in handling it. I will try to be faithful in reporting whatever happens from here, including the experiences involved in the programs that I'll be holding later. In the meantime, I hope you are gaining some help from reading this blog. If you haven't started at the beginning, you might want to do that.

Happy healing!

Happy Anniversary to Me!

Well, it has been a year since I began the depression recovery program and I am still doing great. As you have seen (if you have read my archives), I have had some setbacks here and there, but all in all, recovery has carried through! This is the longest I have ever gone without falling back into major depression, including unhealthy weight loss, anxiety, ocd, and the ever present darkness. In fact, I am far from it. And here is the very encouraging PROOF that I am recovered: I still have problems in my life. Some of them are the very ones I had during "The Great Depression." In fact, some may even be more serious now than they were then. HOWEVER, I am not falling into major depression. I am sad, yes, because I have reasons to be sad. I am concerned, yes, about some situations because I have reasons for concern. But I am dealing with these things with a mind that can focus better and approach problems with honesty and not constant fear, anxiety, and second-guessing. This is huge! So, I just wanted to report this as an encouragement, I guess. Because as I was pondering the things that are bothering me very much right now, I also had to notice that I wasn't bracing myself for the plummet! It is a reminder to me (and to you) that there is a difference in being depressed (normal) and having depression. Realizing this is a very welcome anniversary gift, which I'm warmly embracing. Bring in the cake and light the candle!

Validation!

I'm so charged! I just got off the phone with one of Dr. Nedley's associates. I was asking her a technical question about something I wanted to add to my blog, and while we were talking, she began to share with me the success of other people and I found myself realizing she was describing me! So long I found myself fitting into the description of the depressed person, nodding my head and saying to myself, "Yep, that's me." But now I am in the new group. Or RE-newed group, I should say! Just wanted to share that with you. Hang on! There's a place waiting in that group for you too!

Welcome Back!

As I have felt my "real" self returning, I have also felt regret for the time that is gone. Time that seems to have been wasted, and it gives me a feeling of lament, wishing I'd been more "present" for my family, etc. But, again, the Holy Spirit has kindly brought my attention to Scripture...I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten." What an appropriate description of depression: a swarming locust! But now the swarming, chewing, destructive locust is dead, and the plant is thriving! Depression recovery doesn't erase life's problems. But a recovered brain provides the ability to handle them more clearly and productively. And the joys of life are fuller! It would be enough for me to realize this progress just myself. But it is especially encouraging to realize that others are observing it in me too! I think the comment that has thrilled me the most, though, came from Mark, who has unfailingly seen me through this whole journey, as he was observing me with a smile and said, "Welcome back!"

I'm Still Standin'

Hey, everyone! It's been a while since I've posted. But I want to give the report that here in the deep of winter, I am still doing great and celebrating the return of my brain! I am proof that Dr. Nedley's depression recovery program works. I have had a couple of episodes of slipping, but each time that happens I take a look at my list of things I've been taught to do and, sure enough, I've gotten lazy!

Some people may wonder (as I have) if there is a difference in being cured and being recovered. Am I "cured"? I'm not sure, but I feel I am certainly headed in that direction. Am I recovered? Yes! Dr. Nedley believes that a cure truly can be attained...but must be maintained. I'm happy with that because, either way, I have found the "tools" to be depression-free. So whether recovered or cured, the key to success is continuing with what works.


While I can't begin to include all of what I learned from the Nedley Depression Recovery program, I will at least try to share some information and tips. I will start by sharing my joy of recovery! I am forever grateful to Dr. Nedley for his scientific research and endurance to prove that depression recovery (and cure)can be achieved through practical and natural methods. I am eternally grateful to God for being my Divine Counselor and for all of the personal lessons of how completely trustworthy and precious he is. By his companionship, I have truly discovered a lot of light in the darkness! I am dedicated to helping anyone who is suffering with depression/anxiety.

As I find my "real" self re-emerging, I feel regret for the time that is gone that was spent in depression, wishing I'd been a more effective person in this or that way. But as I was thinking about this, I discovered a promise from God's word that has given me renewed joy! It says, "I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten." Restore the years. That is a promise I'm so grateful for. That swarming, chewing, destructive locust is dead and the plant is thriving again! Depression recovery doesn't erase life's problems. Problems and sadness and challenges will always happen in this world. But a renewed brain gives the ability to handle them more clearly and productively. And the joys of life are fuller!

It would be enough for me to realize this progress just myself. But it is especially encouraging to realize that others are observing it in me too! For example, a friend told me my eyes "look brighter" these days! That was so satisfying, considering all the photos I've seen of myself with dead eyes. But I think the words that have thrilled me most are from Mark, who has unfailingly seen me through this whole journey, as he was observing me with a smile and said, "Welcome back!" :-)

Jumping On the Bed!

Yes, this morning was the day I jumped on the bed! Let me explain. Several years ago, during the "Great Depression," I told Mark that on the morning that I finally wake up without feeling like death, I was going to stand on the bed and proclaim it!

Well, today was the day! It came unexpectedly, but joyously. I woke up and realized I didn't feel sick or sad or weak or dead. In fact, I actually found myself thinking happy thoughts. My face wasn't posed in the familiar grimace that it usually is when I awaken. My mind wasn't racing with second-guessing and confusion. I wasn't thinking of myself. In fact, I woke up thinking about a young lady at church that I would like to help, and I began thinking of ways to actually do that.

I sat up in bed and said aloud, "This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it!" My sleepy husband, who was, no doubt, completely stunned at such a positive proclamation from me first thing in the morning, took his place in the "amen" section and uttered a supportive response.

I don't know what will happen from here, exactly, but I do believe this is the major turning point UPWARD!

Hang in there, my friends!!! I will have more later..... Have you ordered Dr. Nedley's DVDs yet?

Courage!

Well, I haven't blogged in a while. That means nothing, really, except that I'm behind.

The GREAT THING I want to report on here today is this: I was telling a friend the other day how much the Dr. Nedley sessions on DVD are helping me and how I'm continuing to do great. She said that she was proud of me for having the COURAGE to do those. She said, "It takes courage to commit to a program like that" etc.... And it made me feel sooo good. I realized that the reason it was so meaningful for me to hear her tell me I have courage is because courage is what depression stole from me! Depression stole courage and replaced it with fear. That's what depression does....among other things. So, it was so healing just to hear that. So when I awoke with an episode of darkness the other morning, tempted to roll over and fall into the spiral, I was able to quickly come out of it because I remembered my friend telling me that I have courage! :-)

If you (out there somewhere) feel that depression has robbed you of courage, take heart. You are NOT without courage. If you were, you wouldn't be reading this. You are wanting to recover and you are believing that you can do it. That takes courage! Also, remember that courage is a trait of God's own character, and He is so ready to share any of his traits with us. Fear is not of his character. So, we need to keep asking God to replace fear with courage. Fear can be valid or it can just simply be chemical activity that manifests itself as fear. Either way, God is the giver of peace and courage.

I'm Still Alive

Well, I see that I haven't blogged for about three weeks. But that's not a bad sign. Just a sign that I have procrastinated. I find that I put off blogging my progress because I want to be so careful to report correctly. But, by doing that, I end up not reporting at all. Oh, well, I can't go back, so I'll go forward. Hey, that sounds like a recovering person, doesn't it?!! Indeed. I have a lot to report, but rather than try to put it all in a research paper form, I think I'll just blog along.... and tell things as I recall them. It doesn't all have to be chronological, right? Okay, here goes...

I have finished the 8-week DVD sessions of Dr. Nedley's. I have to say the strangest thing happened. When I finished the 7th session, I kept putting off watching the last one. I knew I should do it, but I just didn't want to. Yet, I didn't know why. Finally, as Mark and I sat down to watch it, I realized! The reason I didn't want to watch the last session was because I didn't want it to be over. Then I thought, Gwen, you really are crazy! How could you possibly not want a depression recovery program to be over? The answer is that it has helped me so much and has been so enlightening that I think I had a fear that once the DVD was over, I might not maintain the positive effects. But when I watched it, Dr. Nedley summarized the program, he said, "It's not over." What?? I felt a surge of hope. That sounds strange, but it's true. He said, "You may feel already that you are depression-free" (well, I couldn't say I was depression-FREE, but certainly much closer to it), "but the recovery program is a 20-week program." That's right. I had almost forgotten that. So, I felt a surge of ambition as I remembered that I have several weeks left to keep implementing the things I've learned and to feel the healing effects. So, I'm now going over my workbook every day and writing down the things I have learned and taking a more solid commitment to applying them ALL. I do so want to be completely recovered and I know it IS happening. Just think---by the time the holidays come, I will be recovered! So.... from here I will be sharing with you bits and pieces of the recovery plan, so that you can try them yourself. If you want to do the complete program, you can find the info at www.drnedley.com

14 Consecutive Days of No Negative Speech: Oh, dear, I've talked about this one before. And, no, I have not yet accomplished it. Still having to start over. But I have become very aware of how many negative things I do say (and think) and I'm benefiting from shaving them down. This isn't just a matter of "thinking positive." The idea of just thinking positive, does not have the same effect as NOT thinking negative. This doesn't mean that we should run from our problems. That's not realistic. It does mean that we should face them with hope and practical solutions.

Classical Music: This is huge! I can't believe how much it really does help. I have it playing right now. I recommend Starlight Classics for bedtime, and Power Classics for morning to get the day started. I could go into detail and WHY it helps. But just try it. You don't have to LIKE classical music in order to benefit form it. I think of it as medicine. But I'm increasingly enjoying it.

Drink 8 glasses of water a day. Keep your brain hydrated.

Exercise. Really. If you can exercise in the sunshine, you'll be killing two birds with one stone as sunshine is also a major player in healing depression. Get some sunshine every day. And getting it through the window isn't as effective as directly. If you do it when the sun is not the most intense, you wont' have to worry so much about sun screen.

Deep Breathing. Oxygen to the brain. This is obvious to understand, but hard to remember to do. I need to put up some post-it notes that say DON'T FORGET TO BREATH!

Read Proverbs every day. One chapter per day from the book of Proverbs in the Bible. Dr. Nedley recommends coinciding the day with the chapter. For example, this is the 25th, so I would read Proverbs, chapter 25.

More later.....

Just reporting in. I am about to have my last session or two in the Depression Recovery DVD series with Dr. Nedley. I have gained soooo much from them. But like anything else, it doesn't work unless I apply it. But the positive benefits are worth keeping up with it.

Here's something very exciting..... When I have taken anti-depressants in the past, what they have done is subdue anxiety and depression waves and to prevent the spiraling effect downward. That's good, that's what they're supposed to do. HOWEVER, I am now noticing that same positive effect without the drug!!! When I feel that wave coming over me and starting to consume, it levels out and goes away. This is proof that the brain CAN heal itself of depression/anxiety without drugs if it is given the right food, tools, and information. This is a wonderful breakthrough to discover. Also, I'm waking up in daylight now instead of so early in the morning, so I know my sleep patterns are coming around. And, again, I must say that the most helpful thing for me, so far, is avoiding negative speech (and even thoughts, if possible...I have a long way to go). This does not pertain to the difficult things that happen daily that need to be dealt with. To avoid ALL negative things would be impossible in this world and running away from them would be counterproductive. But what is meant by avoiding negative speech is to avoid criticism, intolerance, self-bashing, etc.... Those are all food for depression/anxiety. Depression and anxiety can be starved (to death, I hope) by stopping those negative impulses when they appear and to replace them immediately with some sort of praise or just simply talk about something else. If something negative or challenging needs to be handled, it can still be done without critical words. Here's an example of something that happened to me recently: I was visiting a church out of town. There was a group of young adults who went up to lead a song service. One of the young ladies was wearing a rather skimpy dress. My immediate response to that was to think to myself, Why is she wearing such a sleezy dress in church? Doesn't she know what that looks like?" etc. etc. BUT instead of allowing that negative thought to gain momentum, I immediately stopped and reminded myself that I don't even know this woman. As far as I knew, it could have been her first day in church. And maybe, in God's eyes, her willingness to get up front and share her music was more pleasing to Him than me sitting in my modest apparel picking her apart! So, I decided to just embrace the music and the words of praise to God that were being shared. And I received such a blessing in my heart and mind! And when the young lady went to sit in her seat (which happened to be across the aisle from me), I had a different attitude. I felt grateful that she had been there and I prayed for her spiritual growth.... and mine!

Stuggles I'm continuing to have with depression recovery are OCD issues. I continue to second guess everything I say, but that is improving too. It's such a deep habit and SO hard to resist. These things didn't appear overnight and they will not disappear overnight either. But progress is happening.

By the way, if anyone is out there reading this, I hope you are encouraged by my honest reports. And if you want to ask me anything, please post your comments or email me: simmonsmg@wildblue.net I'm praying for you. And if you're a praying person, please pray for me too, okay? Thanks!

Well, it's been a while since I've checked in, so here is the update on my depression recovery. I've recently had a bit of a setback, but when I analyzed it, I realized I had backslidden on the things I had been doing previously when I was doing so well. Classical music....attention to foods high in tryptophan and omega-3, and going to bed early. That going to bed early thing really does have an effect. More serotonin is produced before midnight. AND I hate to admit it, but I do believe the assignment of "no negative speech" has greater bearing on diminishing depression than I had even realized. So..... starting over again on the 14 consecutive days without negative speech. If you think I'm a negative person, just try this little exercise yourself! :-)

PRAISE! Praise has been (and is) the biggest tool for success. God inhabits praise and where God is, peace is. It seems SO unnatural to praise when depression is pressing all around, but it can be done....and it does work!! I feel peace arrive at the mention of praise to God and all of his blessings.

Okay, off to work now. Oh! That's another thing. My boss was kind of insulting my work the other day, but I was able to turn that around in my mind and not be consumed by it. Also, I started humming. Remember that humming has a direct effect on the frontal lobe.

DAWN 2

It happened! Remember I mentioned on my last post that I woke up at a normal time, passing over the 4 am and 5 am visits by the Black Hole? Well..... this morning I not only by-passed those wake-up times, waking to my alarm, but I also actually felt rested! This is the first time in months that this has happened. I always wake up feeling just as tired as when I went to bed. AND I didn't feel as depressed as usual. I didn't just jump out of bed, by any means, but I did feel like it would be worth it to get up. Praise the Lord! And thank the Lord for Dr. Nedley's depression recovery program. Also, my sweet Mark gave me a lullaby treatment of relaxing massage and then reading to me from the Bible until I fell asleep. This is a wonderful breakthrough after years of dreading to go to bed, knowing that I'd only have to wake up again.

The more I learn about how to reprogram the frontal lobe of the brain and reverse depression/anxiety, the more I'm learning about myself. By the way, I really DON'T like talking about myself. In fact, that's one thing that I believe has prevented my own healing earlier is that I don't want to concentrate on myself. But when I committed to going through this program, I promised myself to concentrate on ME so that I can be well. And then I will be able to do what I really want to do..... concentrate on others. And do it with a sound mind and healthy emotions. I've wasted entirely too much life trying to deal with life using a defective brain. What a waste! Anyway, something I'm noticing is that I'm not freaking out inside when I speak up about something important to me. Usually, I end up fearing that I've offended or hurt someone by my words, and then go back and try to "fix" it. Invariably, the person assures me that they weren't even aware of what I was worried about. It was just part of my distorted thinking pattern in that way. But now, I am feeling that hold being released and my confidence is being restored.

Okay, so now I'm feeling that I need to quit talking about myself... So, I'll talk about God instead. PRAISE. That's something that has really been helping. Praise is not the same thing as "positive thinking". Positive thinking is not that helpful in my experience. It seems rather hollow in its effect because it so often seems to be simply the chanting of something that you wish to be true, but you know isn't. But praise is something different. Praise is stating something positive that is actually true. And the more I do it, the more I want to. For example, it's a hot day today. I could say, "I'm sick of this heat!" (negative comment) Or I could say, "I love this heat!" (positive thinking comment, which isn't true). OR I could say, "It's really hot today, but not long ago I was sitting in a cold classroom wishing for summer. So I'm grateful for this warm day of no coat or mittens." Do you see the difference? Anyway, that's one of the things I'm practicing. It may sound pretty elementary, but just try it and see how much better you feel. And it's also rather liberating to take hold and reprogram your thought processes. Power!

DAWN!

Hurray! I woke up in daylight today! Did I still feel depressed? Yes, but at least it wasn't 4 a.m. and then 5 a.m. in the dark, which has been my pattern. Just waking with dawn was encouraging in itself. So, perhaps I'm turning a corner. Glory be! I think it may partly be due to my improved eating habits. I haven't been eating between meals for the last few days and especially not in the evenings past supper. I've also been eating more natural foods and cut out a lot of garbage. There's a frozen pizza in the freezer right now calling my name, but I called it a name instead. ha! Not that eating pizza is causing my depression. But I'm comitted to trying to do my best to help myself. And nutrition is one factor. Now, on the minus side....I'm starting over yet again with the 14 consecutive days of not saying negative speech. My, my how hard that is! But I know there is validity to it as I have already noticed improvement in my thinking from just taking a stab at it! It's rather liberating, in a way, to realize that I have the power to reprogram my brain by controlling what comes out of my mouth.
So, is anyone out there?? If so, please feel free to lurk. I do hope I can help someone along the way. Even though I'm still struggling with depression/anxiety, I am improved enough to totally believe that it can be cured and that no one needs to live like that forever! (I hope I'm right!)

BACK AGAIN, FORWARD AGAIN....

Okay, this morning was rough.  So was yesterday, and not just in the mornings.  I'm not going to dwell on the details, but just the usual unwelcome companionship of depression, anxiety, and a sprinkling of OCD here and there...  I'm not going to try to analyze how or why or what either.  I'm simply acknowledging the truth since that's important in the recovery process.  Acknowledge what is true....in this case, it's still with me...and then go forward with the reconstructive thinking, the banish of negative speech, nutrition, and exercises of focus.  Time spent in church, fellowshipping with like believers did certainly help to an extent, and time spent talking things out with Mark helped too.  God is ever-present in this journey and I know that my struggle is His struggle too.    So, that's that for now.    I will spend the rest of the day moving onward in constructive work and maybe even some play later!  Whatever happens, I WILL NOT GIVE UP!  

Breakthrough!

I had the most wonderful thing happen today. A good friend of mine left a message on my phone saying, "I wanted to tell you that I've noticed that you look better. I can't put my finger on it, but your eyes just look brighter and you seem more alert and focused in your speaking."

I was so happy to get that message because it is evidence from someone else's perspective that I'm getting well! It's working. I'm having ups and downs and putting the things I'm learning from the Nedley sessions is not always easy, but they are always WORTH IT!! And now it is showing from the outside! I especially was pleased with the feedback that my "eyes look brighter" because a depressed person's eyes just look dim. I can spot another depressed person by his/her eyes and I look at photos of myself during the Great Depression and my eyes are dim even when my face is smiling. So, to hear that my eyes are brighter gives me great courage to keep up with the program.

Speaking of the program, I need to be sharing some of the highlights just in case there is anyone "out there" who is reading along here. I want to be able to help you if I can. Here's the latest assignment: Reconstructive Thinking. Basically, the idea is to catch yourself having distorted thinking. If you have distorted thinking, you probably are aware of it. In my case, I tend to second-guess everything I say (or have said in the past) and it almost always ends up being nothing of any importance. I feel like a cat chasing it's tail in these situations. It seems SO LOGICAL at the time, though, doesn't it? So, here's what you need to do next time you are sliding into a panic or thought distortion..... 1. Write down your feelings and what you are thinking or experiencing. Don't think about what you are going to do with it. Just write it all down. 2. Read it back to yourself. Imagine that it is not you who has just experienced this, but a friend. That friend is telling it to you. What would you tell that friend? Would you see it as logical? Or would it seem distorted? Most likely, if it was a friend telling you about himself what you've just written about yourself, you would be able to identify that the friend is off base. So, do that for yourself. 3. Identify the distorted points. 4. Now deal with those negative thoughts/distortions by RECONSTRUCTING them into positive thoughts. I've been trying to do this and it does help.
Now, to keep things real, I must say that I woke up this morning feeling very depressed. This is my pattern as I've mentioned before, so it is no surprise. I've been waking up depressed for years. But in order to stick with the reconstructing thought patterns, I reminded myself that even though the reality is that I did, in fact, wake up depressed, it doesn't mean that I always will. And I also reminded myself of the very positive fact that it is only in the mornings now instead of all day long like back in the Great Depression. Mark then got me involved in some exercise and his cheerful spirit and now I'm back in business.

PROGRESS!

I just want to mention that if anyone is following this blog, I am very happy to have you leave comments or email me if you are depressed and have questions about any of this program that I'm implementing.
I also want to mention that my walk with the Lord is so important in this process, so I will be mentioning that as I go along since this is about my own progress. If anyone who may be reading my blog is not a believer in God or in Christianity, I hope you won't be discouraged from still walking along with me on this journey. There are many practical things (aside from spiritual ones) that can help you. So you can just pick and choose. And who knows, maybe even the spiritual will help you too. Let's face it, if you have depression, you already believe in hell. Perhaps you can find help in a belief in heaven as well. :-) Okay, just wanted to report my wonderful news about my sleep improvement! Z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z

Starting Again....

Well, I see that my last blog entry was April 24. I dropped the ball for a while, but I'm back on track. I'm not going to punish myself, but just move ahead. I've realized that one thing that is hard for me in blogging about this topic is that it is hard for me to concentrate on me. This is not as much about being unselfish as it is about my fear that if my family sees me in weakness, then they will not feel free to come to me for help if they need it. I realize this is irrational thinking as depression is not a sign of weakness. My opinion, in fact, is that depressed people are some of the strongest people alive. They have to be. Correction: WE have to be. See how I excluded myself?
Update on the classical music... I like it!! I truly have developed a taste for it. I do believe it does bring focus to the frontal lobe and a sense of clarity. It sure makes a difference what classical music it is, however. Right now, I'm listening to the music radio found on www.drnedley.com Very nice. AND I also learned from Dr. Nedley's information that humming is valuable to the proper functioning of the frontal lobe. So, I've been humming when I wake up and throughout the day.
Otherwise, still eating almonds, flax seed, tofu, and other wonderful "medicines" that are full of omega-3 and tryptophan. I'm also keeping up with the word games. Exercise is plentiful in my job at the greenhouse this summer, which I am enjoying.

Day Two

Well, it's late and as the famous football coach Vince Lombardi said, "Fatigue makes cowards of us all." I'm not especially feeling cowardly, but I'm not as enthusiastic about blogging my day as I was earlier today. Several times, I thought of points I wanted to mention, but I was nowhere near a computer at the time. Thus, I'm stuck with mere remnants of wisdom. ;-)

For right now, I just want to say that I feel my new part time job at the greenhouse is a Godsend. The fresh air, sunshine (Vitamin D is crucial to healing depression), and soil up to my elbows are the perfect partners for this journey. There is an unspoken presence of the Creator, which can only be helpful.

Well, I just typed a couple of paragraphs and then deleted them. That is a pattern I have. I will say something and then edit it. This is not just because I am a writer. It's because I fear and doubt my own words and second guess myself. I'm not sure how I got that way, but it's true.

Depression Recovery: Day One

Actually, there have been many Days One. Many attempts at willing myself well. Snapping out of it. Putting mind over matter. And all of those attempts were genuine and fueled by a belief in the power of positive thinking, which does exist and should be exercised, and in fact, did help. For a while. The problem is that for the depressed person, all the will in the world can't make a sick brain well. Wow, I said it! And I said it in front of....the whole world?? It's okay, though, because I realize now that a sick brain doesn't make a person any more crazy than a sick stomach. It does, however, mean that it needs fixed. And while I know that my own will is key in my success, I acknowledge that it is only the starting point and not the finish line. My will is not the cure, but my permission to be cured.

I have just completed reading Dr. Neil Nedley's book called Depression: The Way Out. Dr. Nedley claims (with documented success) that depression can be cured, not just treated. He does prescribe medications for his patients when needed, but the ultimate goal is to be free of depression, anxiety, and medicine. I'm there! Well, at the starting point, that is. The approach involves nutrition, lifestyle, spirituality, exercise, and other very "real" approaches. So, I've established this blog in order to stick with the program and be accountable to someone "out there" even if it is only myself reading my own posts. I do welcome, however, anyone's comments.