Happy New Year!

Well, it's 2011, and I'm still recovered! Praise Jesus! And speaking of that, I have renewed my covenant with God to use my brain efficiently for Him and for others.

It's been a couple of months since my last post, so I'll catch up a bit. We just finished our first series of meetings doing the Dr. Nedley Depression Recovery DVDs. Our group was small, but it was successful and it thrilled my heart to listen to the testimonials of participants as they said how they are better. I am planning to begin the program again in late February and I'm praying for anyone and everyone who may consider coming.

On a more personal note, I had a very warm and satisfying experience over the holiday when my daughter (26) told me that she is so proud of me for "killing the beast" of depression in my own life and then going on to help others. That made me feel very good. :-) Affirmation from one's own children is always a sweet moment.

Well, I am not sure why you are reading this, but if you are suffering with depression yourself, please feel free to email simmonsmg@wildblue.net if you have questions or concerns or comments. You may feel free to make posts here, too, although an email will get my attention sooner. :-)

Hold on! And if you haven't checked out Dr. Nedley's DVD program yet, it might just be the best New Year Resolution you ever make! www.drnedley.com

Happy Anniversary to Me!

Well, it has been a year since I began the depression recovery program and I am still doing great. As you have seen (if you have read my archives), I have had some setbacks here and there, but all in all, recovery has carried through! This is the longest I have ever gone without falling back into major depression, including unhealthy weight loss, anxiety, ocd, and the ever present darkness. In fact, I am far from it. And here is the very encouraging PROOF that I am recovered: I still have problems in my life. Some of them are the very ones I had during "The Great Depression." In fact, some may even be more serious now than they were then. HOWEVER, I am not falling into major depression. I am sad, yes, because I have reasons to be sad. I am concerned, yes, about some situations because I have reasons for concern. But I am dealing with these things with a mind that can focus better and approach problems with honesty and not constant fear, anxiety, and second-guessing. This is huge! So, I just wanted to report this as an encouragement, I guess. Because as I was pondering the things that are bothering me very much right now, I also had to notice that I wasn't bracing myself for the plummet! It is a reminder to me (and to you) that there is a difference in being depressed (normal) and having depression. Realizing this is a very welcome anniversary gift, which I'm warmly embracing. Bring in the cake and light the candle!

Breathe!

Okay, just checking in to see if you are doing your deep breathing, everyone! It is especially important to breathe deeply, especially when you are feeling that rising anxiety or panic. Why breathe deeply? Basically, getting oxygen to your brain is an anti-stressor. For example, do you notice that when you are stressed you tend to sigh more? Do you notice other people sighing when they are under pressure or stress too? That's the body's natural way of getting you to breathe deeply. You might even notice that sometimes when you're nervous you yawn more. Again, your body wants you to breathe deeply. So, just do it. Try to take a few minutes every day when you breathe no more than six breaths per minute. You'll find that if you time that out, it's really just a matter of breathing slow, deep breaths. I'm still working on making this a daily habit. I find it hard to remember.....until I really NEED to do it! But it's better to make a habit of it as part of maintenance. :-)

I'm Still Standin'

Hey, everyone! It's been a while since I've posted. But I want to give the report that here in the deep of winter, I am still doing great and celebrating the return of my brain! I am proof that Dr. Nedley's depression recovery program works. I have had a couple of episodes of slipping, but each time that happens I take a look at my list of things I've been taught to do and, sure enough, I've gotten lazy!

Some people may wonder (as I have) if there is a difference in being cured and being recovered. Am I "cured"? I'm not sure, but I feel I am certainly headed in that direction. Am I recovered? Yes! Dr. Nedley believes that a cure truly can be attained...but must be maintained. I'm happy with that because, either way, I have found the "tools" to be depression-free. So whether recovered or cured, the key to success is continuing with what works.


While I can't begin to include all of what I learned from the Nedley Depression Recovery program, I will at least try to share some information and tips. I will start by sharing my joy of recovery! I am forever grateful to Dr. Nedley for his scientific research and endurance to prove that depression recovery (and cure)can be achieved through practical and natural methods. I am eternally grateful to God for being my Divine Counselor and for all of the personal lessons of how completely trustworthy and precious he is. By his companionship, I have truly discovered a lot of light in the darkness! I am dedicated to helping anyone who is suffering with depression/anxiety.

As I find my "real" self re-emerging, I feel regret for the time that is gone that was spent in depression, wishing I'd been a more effective person in this or that way. But as I was thinking about this, I discovered a promise from God's word that has given me renewed joy! It says, "I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten." Restore the years. That is a promise I'm so grateful for. That swarming, chewing, destructive locust is dead and the plant is thriving again! Depression recovery doesn't erase life's problems. Problems and sadness and challenges will always happen in this world. But a renewed brain gives the ability to handle them more clearly and productively. And the joys of life are fuller!

It would be enough for me to realize this progress just myself. But it is especially encouraging to realize that others are observing it in me too! For example, a friend told me my eyes "look brighter" these days! That was so satisfying, considering all the photos I've seen of myself with dead eyes. But I think the words that have thrilled me most are from Mark, who has unfailingly seen me through this whole journey, as he was observing me with a smile and said, "Welcome back!" :-)

What a Day!

I'm just reporting in to say that I had the most wonderful day! I felt actual lightness inside myself. I had a great early morning walk, prayer, classical music while I worked through my computer stuff, and then a great talk on the phone with a friend whose insight into some things I've been feeling was very helpful. Then I worked in my garden, snapped beans and canned them all afternoon while listening to some James Herriot animal stories on tape. I'm still canning tonight at about 9:00, but I still have energy (very unusual!!). There is an actual "lightness" to my head that is not only mental, but feels almost physical. Hard to explain, but quite welcome. I think this is a combination of many things that are working together for healing. Oh, and I've seen no entertainment TV for weeks. I don't know how I'll feel tomorrow, but for right now, I am feeling like the real me. Hallelujah!

Just reporting in. I am about to have my last session or two in the Depression Recovery DVD series with Dr. Nedley. I have gained soooo much from them. But like anything else, it doesn't work unless I apply it. But the positive benefits are worth keeping up with it.

Here's something very exciting..... When I have taken anti-depressants in the past, what they have done is subdue anxiety and depression waves and to prevent the spiraling effect downward. That's good, that's what they're supposed to do. HOWEVER, I am now noticing that same positive effect without the drug!!! When I feel that wave coming over me and starting to consume, it levels out and goes away. This is proof that the brain CAN heal itself of depression/anxiety without drugs if it is given the right food, tools, and information. This is a wonderful breakthrough to discover. Also, I'm waking up in daylight now instead of so early in the morning, so I know my sleep patterns are coming around. And, again, I must say that the most helpful thing for me, so far, is avoiding negative speech (and even thoughts, if possible...I have a long way to go). This does not pertain to the difficult things that happen daily that need to be dealt with. To avoid ALL negative things would be impossible in this world and running away from them would be counterproductive. But what is meant by avoiding negative speech is to avoid criticism, intolerance, self-bashing, etc.... Those are all food for depression/anxiety. Depression and anxiety can be starved (to death, I hope) by stopping those negative impulses when they appear and to replace them immediately with some sort of praise or just simply talk about something else. If something negative or challenging needs to be handled, it can still be done without critical words. Here's an example of something that happened to me recently: I was visiting a church out of town. There was a group of young adults who went up to lead a song service. One of the young ladies was wearing a rather skimpy dress. My immediate response to that was to think to myself, Why is she wearing such a sleezy dress in church? Doesn't she know what that looks like?" etc. etc. BUT instead of allowing that negative thought to gain momentum, I immediately stopped and reminded myself that I don't even know this woman. As far as I knew, it could have been her first day in church. And maybe, in God's eyes, her willingness to get up front and share her music was more pleasing to Him than me sitting in my modest apparel picking her apart! So, I decided to just embrace the music and the words of praise to God that were being shared. And I received such a blessing in my heart and mind! And when the young lady went to sit in her seat (which happened to be across the aisle from me), I had a different attitude. I felt grateful that she had been there and I prayed for her spiritual growth.... and mine!

Stuggles I'm continuing to have with depression recovery are OCD issues. I continue to second guess everything I say, but that is improving too. It's such a deep habit and SO hard to resist. These things didn't appear overnight and they will not disappear overnight either. But progress is happening.

By the way, if anyone is out there reading this, I hope you are encouraged by my honest reports. And if you want to ask me anything, please post your comments or email me: simmonsmg@wildblue.net I'm praying for you. And if you're a praying person, please pray for me too, okay? Thanks!

DAWN!

Hurray! I woke up in daylight today! Did I still feel depressed? Yes, but at least it wasn't 4 a.m. and then 5 a.m. in the dark, which has been my pattern. Just waking with dawn was encouraging in itself. So, perhaps I'm turning a corner. Glory be! I think it may partly be due to my improved eating habits. I haven't been eating between meals for the last few days and especially not in the evenings past supper. I've also been eating more natural foods and cut out a lot of garbage. There's a frozen pizza in the freezer right now calling my name, but I called it a name instead. ha! Not that eating pizza is causing my depression. But I'm comitted to trying to do my best to help myself. And nutrition is one factor. Now, on the minus side....I'm starting over yet again with the 14 consecutive days of not saying negative speech. My, my how hard that is! But I know there is validity to it as I have already noticed improvement in my thinking from just taking a stab at it! It's rather liberating, in a way, to realize that I have the power to reprogram my brain by controlling what comes out of my mouth.
So, is anyone out there?? If so, please feel free to lurk. I do hope I can help someone along the way. Even though I'm still struggling with depression/anxiety, I am improved enough to totally believe that it can be cured and that no one needs to live like that forever! (I hope I'm right!)

Starting Again....

Well, I see that my last blog entry was April 24. I dropped the ball for a while, but I'm back on track. I'm not going to punish myself, but just move ahead. I've realized that one thing that is hard for me in blogging about this topic is that it is hard for me to concentrate on me. This is not as much about being unselfish as it is about my fear that if my family sees me in weakness, then they will not feel free to come to me for help if they need it. I realize this is irrational thinking as depression is not a sign of weakness. My opinion, in fact, is that depressed people are some of the strongest people alive. They have to be. Correction: WE have to be. See how I excluded myself?
Update on the classical music... I like it!! I truly have developed a taste for it. I do believe it does bring focus to the frontal lobe and a sense of clarity. It sure makes a difference what classical music it is, however. Right now, I'm listening to the music radio found on www.drnedley.com Very nice. AND I also learned from Dr. Nedley's information that humming is valuable to the proper functioning of the frontal lobe. So, I've been humming when I wake up and throughout the day.
Otherwise, still eating almonds, flax seed, tofu, and other wonderful "medicines" that are full of omega-3 and tryptophan. I'm also keeping up with the word games. Exercise is plentiful in my job at the greenhouse this summer, which I am enjoying.

Well, it's 5 a.m. and, as usual, I have been awakened by the heavy and low cloud of depression. A few years ago, I had what doctors call severe depression and what I call "The Great Depression." Since that time, I have had various "recessions." If I stay busy and active, I do well most of the time now. But I do still have episodes, especially first thing in the morning. I'm very weary of it, but God has brought to my mind these words from the Bible in James 5:11
Behold, we count them happy who endure.

Now, as for a couple of things I'm doing from the Nedley plan.....
Classical music. It is highly recommended as a tool in repairing and reviving the frontal lobe of the brain where depression is rearing its ugly head. I have to say that classical music has never drawn me. But I now have my car radio set to it and I am hoping to develop a taste for it. And if I don't develop an actual appetite for it, I will still consider it "medicine" which I'm very grateful for. So, go Bach!!!
I'm also doing more mental exercise, which is recommended. Scrabble is my favorite! Mark, who is not a game person, is kind enough to play with me....and even to beat me once in a while. :-)

Day Two

Well, it's late and as the famous football coach Vince Lombardi said, "Fatigue makes cowards of us all." I'm not especially feeling cowardly, but I'm not as enthusiastic about blogging my day as I was earlier today. Several times, I thought of points I wanted to mention, but I was nowhere near a computer at the time. Thus, I'm stuck with mere remnants of wisdom. ;-)

For right now, I just want to say that I feel my new part time job at the greenhouse is a Godsend. The fresh air, sunshine (Vitamin D is crucial to healing depression), and soil up to my elbows are the perfect partners for this journey. There is an unspoken presence of the Creator, which can only be helpful.

Well, I just typed a couple of paragraphs and then deleted them. That is a pattern I have. I will say something and then edit it. This is not just because I am a writer. It's because I fear and doubt my own words and second guess myself. I'm not sure how I got that way, but it's true.

Depression Recovery: Day One

Actually, there have been many Days One. Many attempts at willing myself well. Snapping out of it. Putting mind over matter. And all of those attempts were genuine and fueled by a belief in the power of positive thinking, which does exist and should be exercised, and in fact, did help. For a while. The problem is that for the depressed person, all the will in the world can't make a sick brain well. Wow, I said it! And I said it in front of....the whole world?? It's okay, though, because I realize now that a sick brain doesn't make a person any more crazy than a sick stomach. It does, however, mean that it needs fixed. And while I know that my own will is key in my success, I acknowledge that it is only the starting point and not the finish line. My will is not the cure, but my permission to be cured.

I have just completed reading Dr. Neil Nedley's book called Depression: The Way Out. Dr. Nedley claims (with documented success) that depression can be cured, not just treated. He does prescribe medications for his patients when needed, but the ultimate goal is to be free of depression, anxiety, and medicine. I'm there! Well, at the starting point, that is. The approach involves nutrition, lifestyle, spirituality, exercise, and other very "real" approaches. So, I've established this blog in order to stick with the program and be accountable to someone "out there" even if it is only myself reading my own posts. I do welcome, however, anyone's comments.