Okay, this is my third "starting over." It's not that I keep quitting. Rather, it's that I need a better plan to stay on task. So, now, thanks to my sister loaning me the whole set of DVDs from Dr. Nedley's Depression Recovery program, along with the workbook, I am beginning as a true student. I am now on the third DVD and Mark is watching all of the sessions with me. He's such a wonderful supporter and I feel bad that he has to wake up every morning with me since that is the time I am so depressed. But he endures right along with me, and I'm so grateful. I think that for the most part, people view me as being well. But the fact that depression still lurks about me, even when it is subdued, makes me aware that I want it gone so that it doesn't drag me to the depths again. Just this morning, I had an episode of irrational thinking that was rather disturbing. Once again, though, the Lord brought me up and back on track and the rest of the day went very well.
So.... here are a couple of things I'm learning from the program:

• Nutrition is key to recovery. Foods high in tryptophan, omega-3, and folate are my biggest focus. Examples of those are tofu, English walnuts, ground flax seed, vitamin B-12 and B-6. Also black beans, lentils, and lots of water.
• My daughter sent me a huge book of word puzzles in order to help me with my focusing exercises. I'm enjoying it!
• No negative words! This is a tough one. Beginning today, I started Dr. Nedley's assignment to speak NO NEGATIVE OR CRITICAL WORDS for 14 consecutive days. It has been shown that while it is good to try to think positive, it is actually more healthy to the brain to avoid speaking negatively. Or even thinking negatively! I have to say this is going to be a tough one for me. All negative or critical words or thoughts have to be turned into something positive or just not spoken at all. I know there will be value in this as I know how it feeds my depression when I'm upset with someone (and keep going on about it). Okay, so here we go. I feel like I'm on the high dive.

PROGRESS!

I just want to mention that if anyone is following this blog, I am very happy to have you leave comments or email me if you are depressed and have questions about any of this program that I'm implementing.
I also want to mention that my walk with the Lord is so important in this process, so I will be mentioning that as I go along since this is about my own progress. If anyone who may be reading my blog is not a believer in God or in Christianity, I hope you won't be discouraged from still walking along with me on this journey. There are many practical things (aside from spiritual ones) that can help you. So you can just pick and choose. And who knows, maybe even the spiritual will help you too. Let's face it, if you have depression, you already believe in hell. Perhaps you can find help in a belief in heaven as well. :-) Okay, just wanted to report my wonderful news about my sleep improvement! Z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z

Starting Again....

Well, I see that my last blog entry was April 24. I dropped the ball for a while, but I'm back on track. I'm not going to punish myself, but just move ahead. I've realized that one thing that is hard for me in blogging about this topic is that it is hard for me to concentrate on me. This is not as much about being unselfish as it is about my fear that if my family sees me in weakness, then they will not feel free to come to me for help if they need it. I realize this is irrational thinking as depression is not a sign of weakness. My opinion, in fact, is that depressed people are some of the strongest people alive. They have to be. Correction: WE have to be. See how I excluded myself?
Update on the classical music... I like it!! I truly have developed a taste for it. I do believe it does bring focus to the frontal lobe and a sense of clarity. It sure makes a difference what classical music it is, however. Right now, I'm listening to the music radio found on www.drnedley.com Very nice. AND I also learned from Dr. Nedley's information that humming is valuable to the proper functioning of the frontal lobe. So, I've been humming when I wake up and throughout the day.
Otherwise, still eating almonds, flax seed, tofu, and other wonderful "medicines" that are full of omega-3 and tryptophan. I'm also keeping up with the word games. Exercise is plentiful in my job at the greenhouse this summer, which I am enjoying.